Kindness is a universal virtue, but its manifestations can vary greatly across cultures. In this lighthearted article, we delve into the intriguing world of British manners and the captivating notion of the “beyefendi” gentleman culture in traditional Turkish history. Brace yourself for a delightful exploration of cultural idiosyncrasies that range from endearing to occasionally irksome.
The British and Their Manners:
British manners have long been a subject of fascination and bewilderment. According to Kate Fox’s insightful book, “Watching the English,” the British are renowned for their polite behaviour, often adhering to a complex system of unspoken rules and rituals. Here are a few interesting observations:
1. The Art of Queuing: The British take queuing very seriously. They form orderly lines even in the absence of clear instructions and exhibit remarkable patience while waiting their turn.
2. The Magic Words: “Please” and “thank you” hold immense importance in British culture. They are liberally sprinkled into conversations, whether it’s asking for a favour or receiving assistance.
3. Apology Obsession: The British are known for over-apologizing. They often say “sorry” as a reflex, even when not at fault. It’s a linguistic quirk that reflects their desire to maintain harmony and avoid confrontation.
4. Politeness Paradox: British politeness can sometimes be seen as reserved or aloof. In social situations, they may engage in small talk and maintain a polite distance until a deeper connection is established.
The “Beyefendi” Gentleman Culture in Turkish History:
Turkish culture also cherishes a tradition of courtesy and gentlemanly behaviour, often referred to as “beyefendi” culture. Historically, the Ottoman Empire placed great emphasis on etiquette and refined manners, creating a class of distinguished gentlemen. Some aspects of this culture are still evident in contemporary Turkish society:
1. Respect for Elders: Respecting elders and addressing them with deference is deeply ingrained in Turkish culture. Younger generations are expected to display polite behaviour and show reverence towards their seniors.
2. Courteous Gestures: Offering a seat to someone older or more vulnerable, holding doors open, and assisting others in need are considered acts of chivalry in Turkish culture.
3. Formal Address: Turks often use formal address terms, such as “abi” (elder brother) or “hoca” (teacher / master), to show respect and acknowledge someone’s authority or expertise.
4. Hosting and Generosity: Turkish hospitality is renowned worldwide. Being a gracious host, offering food and refreshments, and ensuring the comfort of guests are important aspects of Turkish culture.
Comparing British Kindness and Turkish “Beyefendi” Culture:
While both the British and Turkish cultures emphasize kindness and politeness, they manifest in distinct ways. British manners focus on adherence to social norms, queue etiquette, and an apology culture. Turkish “beyefendi” culture highlights respect for elders, acts of chivalry, and gracious hospitality.
Intriguingly, both cultures share a common underlying motivation—to maintain social harmony and foster a sense of community. Despite the occasional quirks that may perplex outsiders, these cultural nuances make for a fascinating tapestry of human interaction and connection. All in all, kindness knows no borders, and exploring the idiosyncrasies of manners and gentlemanly behaviour across cultures is a delightful journey. Whether it’s the British with their queueing prowess and overuse of apologies or the Turkish with their reverence for elders and gracious and sometimes even “irritating” hospitality, these cultural practices remind us of the beauty in diverse expressions of kindness.
Kindly Yours
Hamza
Writer, www.fethiyeislam.com
